Sharing My Crisis – Part 7, Final

Allison is HOME!!!!

Ryan, Allison and Mom

I want to thank each of you who have taken time to read about our family’s challenging journey over the past few weeks. In particular, my gratitude to those who sent me their supportive thoughts and prayers for Allison’s recovery process.

Allison spent a total of five weeks at the Center For Discovery. It is a program for which our family will be forever grateful. The work is far from over, but we continue to establish and build upon a very strong foundation of trust, acceptance and resilience.

The previous blog articles have been a collection of entries from my personal journal from the March/April timeframe. Allison has been home for weeks now. I’ve had a variety of feelings since having her back home.

There are moments I feel she is the Allison I’ve always known… loving, entertaining, engaging, mischievous, and adventurous.

At times I see her as a person I don’t know as well… contemplative, insecure, anxious, and doubting,

Happily I see her as the person she is becoming … confident, self assured, independent, and responsible.

And then it is very clear… She is all of the above and more and that is what makes her Allison. Self-discovering experiences can be messy, chaotic and painful. We all have to figure out ways to develop and reveal our true selves. This just happens to be one of the experiences that contributes to her “becoming”. With that, I am learning the great value in seeing her more objectively, with less attachment of who I want her to be or think she “should” be and, rather, more accepting of who she just is.

My little girl is not a “little girl” anymore. She is a young woman who is experiencing life and figuring out her own path. I’ve been asked how and what is it that kept me so strong during these past few months. My immediate answer is that the power and commitment of parenthood is what kicks in. But when I really think about it, it is Chris and I practicing our values of respect, compassion and trust. This has guided us through. And, of course, the unconditional love we have for family.

Lastly, I thank Allison and Ryan. I believe being a mother is one of my greatest experiences and accomplishments. They have and will continue to teach me so many life lessons for which I am grateful. Having them in my life contributes to my own journey of “becoming”.


P.S. Happy 18, Allison!

6/11/07 – Cassandra Rae
Dear Carol ~
Your “Sharing My Crisis” series is the most powerful writing I have read from you to date. This challenge seems to have brought forth a tremendous strength and understanding from within you. I love how you are embracing the “messy” truth of being a parent, of being human, and of being alive. It is through the messy that we can have the relationships and the life of our heart’s desire.

Much love to you and your family. No doubt all of you are stronger and more connected being on the other side of this experience. That is what I see as the goal of all families: to use challenges as a way to bring us closer together.

Hugs & smiles ~

6/16/07 – Susan – Alkamae Blog
Again, I am touched by how marvelously you put into words your experience, your emotions, and your life. What a gift you have, CA Buddy.

Indeed, you know the secret to life–everything in our experience contributes to our own journey of “becoming”. How precious that you have Allison and Ryan to reflect that back to you. Your VA Buddy