I had this insight that I wanted to share with you… it is about using/owning what’s available instead of waiting for something to be complete… all or nothing. A few weeks ago, on the last night of a 10-week workshop in my Divorced/Separated group, the topic was Forgiveness. As I thought about the topic, and what it meant to me, I became very discouraged. I thought … I’m two plus years down this road and I’m not sure I know any more about forgiveness today than I did then. I want it- both to forgive and to be forgiven but I still don’t know what it means or how it feels?
And then something happened… a small part of me was willing to accept things for what they were- human weakness, poor judgment, whatever… and to let go of the hurt for just a moment. Zing! It suddenly occurred to me that perhaps it was a mistake of me to hold Forgiveness (or anything else for that matter) at arms length waiting for it to be all there… complete. What if, just for this moment, I embraced what was available to me- seized this moment when I felt compassion and understanding, however small or short lived it might be….enough to feel forgiveness was possible. I wondered whether if I did that, picked up pieces as they became available to me, I might someday find myself with something substantial.
So that’s my insight…. things don’t have to be all or nothing, black or white to be true- they only have to be real. So for that moment… and even now (several weeks later) I had a small taste of what forgiveness might look like, how it might feel and I will continue to be aware of and grasp the small bits of forgiveness that may one day be complete enough, at least on this issue, to let it go and move on.
So, what do you think? Are there pieces of forgiveness you might pick up along the way that could make a difference for you NOW… even if there is a lot more work to do?