For almost a year now, I have sensed and felt very palpably the call to step up my game; to play bigger and be more in my life. This feeling doesn’t come from a place of ‘this is not good’. In fact my life today is quite lovely. Nor does this call come with specifics in terms of what aspects of my life I’m meant to impact. I feel it very profoundly, though it’s been hard for me to understand, explain or describe except to say it’s a “God-thing”.
I knew I wanted to, perhaps even that I was supposed to open myself to this opportunity. So my response to this call that lacked the clarity that would make it easier to attend to, has been to be brave, make bold decisions and take on my fears.
Being brave, bold and taking on my fears means that I’m actively pursuing things I’ve put off because I don’t feel ready or they feel a bit scary. Sometimes I seek out support or resources when I feel a bit overwhelmed or underprepared to do things on my own. Reaching out and asking for help might seem to some as a no brainer, but it’s not something that I’ve been willing to do very much.
Being brave and bold also means that when I notice that I have a story (a.k.a. excuse or rationale) for why I can’t do something, I remind myself that change only happens when I take NEW and DIFFERENT actions rather than engage in the definition of insanity.
It’s been an interesting journey so far. There have been times that I’m feeling really strong and committed to this and other times where it seems I’ve lost my mojo. But when I’ve lost my mojo, I step back in the game knowing that simply taking some action propels me forward. Progress, not perfection is one of my mottos.
The fruits of my being brave and bold are many. One of my favorites was my almost solo trip to Europe in June 2013. I say almost because when I was feeling a bit squeamish about being all alone, I invited my son Nick to join me for the first part of my three week trip.
Nick and I spent 5 days together in Prague and then went our separate ways. From Prague I went to Munich where I stayed with some old friends, then on to Berlin and England which I did solo. It was a great trip that really fired up my travel bug. My plan is to travel out of the US at least every other year.
The other day as I was reading the daily reflection in A Year of Miracles by Marianne Williamson, I found the words My Soul Is Imprinted With The Yearning To Be More. That’s it… that’s exactly the call I feel and with every small step I take I feel braver, bolder and more prepared to tackle my fears.