Dating couples spend time together and look for shared interests while they get to know one another. However if you’re looking to evaluate whether to proceed to a more serious, “next” level, then looking for and learning about your shared values is crucial. Shared values are what will determine if and how the relationship will sustain and endure over the years to come.
Can you be happy and successful pursuing and enjoying separate interests? We believe, yes! In fact, not only is it important to continually develop and grow yourself as an individual doing so can add richness and dimension to your relationship. However, there is a difference between Interests and values. Yes, long-term, successful relationships certainly can be fun when they participate in shared interests, but it’s the partnerships where both of you are aligned in the principles and beliefs you uphold, your values, that thrive.
Exploring and defining your values helps to identify the principles by which you live. They are reflected by your day-to-day actions and interactions with others. Values represent how you express and relate to life and to those in it. When values are made a central part of your being, that is, the way you present yourself to the world, it becomes easier to speak honestly and to reveal who you are. When you carry out your life around your values you experience fulfillment, self-acceptance and genuineness about who you are.
Values are best expressed in terms of “behavior”. They help form your character as a person, whether it is in your personal or professional life. Values are not who you would like to be or think you “should” be. Your values serve as your internal compass pointing you out to what it is to be true to yourself. They allow you to get closer to the way you want to live your life; they guide you rather than constrain you.
When you and your partner define and live by your joint values, you will definitely have a much better chance of living and loving a healthy relationship together.
Want to learn more about your Values? Contact us to schedule some sessions!