Lisa and Carol, for me the most powerful things that occurred (during our coaching) have to do with being able to trust again. I was very much out of a trust mode at the beginning of our time together. During the time period I found myself able to share more and more of myself. At first, it was to share my thoughts and then my feelings. As this happened I was able to be more emotional (with my wife). I have been able to really share with her on a gut emotional level.

The homework has been very helpful because it cements material covered during the sessions and gets me going in a good direction. I was wary and fearful that issues would get dissected and I would end up on the short end of things. It was important for me that focus shifted from one of us to the other without the kind of prompt, “Well what do you have to say about that?” I was asked to focus on me on how I appeared to you and what I would be willing to make changes rather than defend behaviors. I can see that in focusing on me I had choices to make about how I was doing, thinking, or saying was affecting (my wife). Those choices made it possible for me to be in charge of my own changes without doing something just to please (my wife).

I would rate the coaching sessions a 10. I am usually reluctant to put anything at the absolute top because it seems like there’d be no room for improvement, but I know that our time together has made a difference in the relationship (with my wife).