FRIENDS, I COME WITH 7 PIECES OF GOOD NEWS & BAD NEWS … this was the headline of Glennon Doyle’s Instagram post on September 1, 2017. Her 7 pieces of good and bad news all toggled around the same thing, her book The Love Warrior. But isn’t that the truth about many things, that they have elements of both good and bad? Telling our truth and difficult conversations are two that often play out our in relationships.
It goes something like this:
The Good News: This relationship is important to me. I want to share myself with him or her. I want this person to hear me, see me and know me.
The Bad News: Having the conversation can be difficult and it may not be received well. Feelings may get hurt, I could be misunderstood or judged. I might open Pandora’s box and expose several issues.
The Good News: I can share what’s bothering me rather than let it sit unspoken between us creating separation and distance. I can ask for what I need in the relationship. I can teach him or her how I want to be treated.
The Bad News: The conversation may not yield the results I hope for and now the elephant in the room has been exposed. I can no longer hide from or pretend this issue doesn’t exist.
The Good News: Intention is everything. Being clear on, and starting with I don’t want this to sit between us can create intimacy ~ into me you can see.
The Bad News: I may find out that (s)he is either unable or unwilling to accept this or move with me. I don’t get to decide how (s)he feels, responds or interprets my words. I only get to decide what I do with what I learn from the interaction. This is information gathering rather than an ultimatum. Now that I know…, how do I feel about it? Can I live with it? Can I accept it wholeheartedly? Is it a deal breaker? Only I can decide where I want to go from here.
The Good News: I can’t fix what I don’t know or talk about AND having the conversation holds the opportunity for me to share myself- to be vulnerable with someone important to me. It can be hard but as Glennon Doyle says… WE CAN DO HARD THINGS. Further good news … I want to be authentic in my most significant relationships. I want intimacy and to trust that (s)he is going see me and hear me EVEN when we don’t agree. Isn’t that what respecting one another requires?
Coaching is a great venue to walk these steps, get clear on what it is you want to share and muster up the courage to do the hard things. It will help you stand in the place of being wholehearted in the relationships where “into me you can see” is the goal and the practice. Contact us to learn more or better yet, schedule your complimentary session. Interested in group coaching around this topic? Yep, sign me up!