If January is all about new beginnings, goals and resolutions, February is about LOVE; Valentine’s Day being the cherry on the top the love month. While I don’t want to be a naysayer about Valentine’s Day, I’m more of a Valentine’s Day ~ All Day, Every Day fan. Love should be Expanded!

During the later years of my marriage, Valentine’s Day was tough. It was the day that I pretended that all was well and lovey-dovey. I dressed the part, bought the card and had the nice dinner but many times it just was a painful reminder that there were far more elephants in the room than  hearts, flowers and love.

Then as a ‘single again’ person, particularly immediately following my divorce, Valentine’s Day felt like an all-out assault highlighting the shame and isolation that already felt completely overwhelming. It felt like a holiday for everyone but me. Yes, I did know that I was not the only one, but it felt like that sometimes.

Sometimes the way we talk about love diminishes it. When we say things like “____really does love you; s/he just doesn’t know how to show it”, to justify boundaries being breached, or when someone is not physically or emotionally present in a relationship, we may be setting ourselves or others up for accepting far less than love really has to offer.

Whether our relationships and lives are lacking or abundant in love there is always room for more and always a place for love to be expanded or shared. In an Oprah & Deepak meditation on Finding Your Flow, Deepak says “take time to put your focus, whenever the chance arises, on the different flavors of love in you heart. When you notice them, the simple act of putting your attention to love helps make it an intimate part of you. The flavors of love include the following: appreciation, gratitude, enjoyment, affection, romance and personal attraction.” That’s a practice that can’t help but expand our own experience of love. Expressing that love through words or kindnesses certainly will be felt and appreciated by someone who wants, needs and deserves it.

BTW… the word LOVE in this post can be replaced with JOY, PASSION, ADVENTURE and so on. Coaching is about removing barriers and expanding the way we look at and define the things that give our relationships and our lives purpose and meaning. We’d love to partner with you in expanding those areas of your life that would benefit from a little, or a lot of expansion. Sound good? Contact us or give us a call.